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LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO APPRECIATE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL AND ADORABLE.
CUTE CARTOONS
“Can you be the cartoon I can’t bear to turn off / before dawn /
even if I can’t watch you all night / you don’t have to worry about becoming boring?”
CUTE MOVIES
“Can you be the scar I wake up with after drinking / not knowing where it came from?”
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2025/06/22 21:38
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I watched A Clockwork Orange. It wasn’t as cult as people said. Maybe even boring. Can I say that?
I didn’t care much about the philosophy of free will or the politics of totalitarianism or the choice between good and evil. What hit me was Alex’s PTSD after the treatment. He couldn’t listen to Beethoven anymore.
I haven’t listened to my favourite rock band for four years, until this year. Not because I don’t like them; because I’m afraid to hear them, simple because we went to their concerts together.
Also, I might be arrogant before. Thought I only had to choose once and that choice would be right. That stubbornness made all my choices look like gambling. All in. Philosophy as my major freshman year; Only studying Merleau-Ponty; Only contacting one advisor; etc. The choices seemed firm but maybe they were just overconfidence, arrogance and laziness.
After February, toward my recent birthday, my life changed, in a good way. I built my own subjectivity back. What luck and happiness.
Like Alex at the end of the film. He became himself again, even if he had been evil.
Whatever, Love is torture. But what killed me seems to save me again. Once I admitted it was just a failure, I truly accepted all. Such a great realization–at the beginning of my new age. :)
CUTE MUSIC
“Can you be / just be everything all / all all all everything everything everything all / all those unknown truths?”\
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CUTE PAINTINGS
“Just consider it a jasmine flower / blooming in our wasted time!”
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REDUNDANCE OF MEMORIES 